Posted on Leave a comment

10 habits of mentally strong people

10 habits of mentally strong people

By Editor, May 25th, 2019. 10:30 am

Mental strength is as rare as it is important. The good news is that any of us can get stronger with a little extra focus and effort.

Despite West Point Military Academy’s rigorous selection process, one in five students drops out by graduation day. A sizeable number leave the summer before freshman year, when cadets go through a rigorous program called “Beast.” Beast consists of extreme physical, mental, and social challenges that are designed to test candidates’ perseverance.

University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth conducted a study in which she sought to determine which cadets would make it through the Beast program. The rigorous interviews and testing that cadets went through to get into West Point in the first place told Angela that IQ and talent weren’t the deciding factors.

So, Angela developed her own test to determine which cadets had the mental strength to conquer the Beast. She called it the “Grit Scale,” and it was a highly accurate predictor of cadet success. The Grit Scale measures mental strength, which is that unique combination of passion, tenacity, and stamina that enables you to stick with your goals until they become a reality.

To increase your mental strength, you simply need to change your outlook. When hard times hit, people with mental strength suffer just as much as everyone else. The difference is that they understand that life’s challenging moments offer valuable lessons. In the end, it’s these tough lessons that build the strength you need to succeed.

Learning how to be strong mentally is all about habitually doing the things that no one else is willing to do. If you aren’t doing the following things on a regular basis, you should be, for these are the habits that mentally strong people rely on.


You have to fight when you already feel defeated. A reporter once asked Muhammad Ali how many sit-ups he does every day. He responded, “I don’t count my sit-ups, I only start counting when it starts hurting, when I feel pain, cause that’s when it really matters.” The same applies to success in the workplace. You always have two choices when things begin to get tough: you can either overcome an obstacle and grow in the process or let it beat you. Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to quit the next time. On the other hand, if you force yourself to push through a challenge, the strength begins to grow in you.

You have to delay gratification. There was a famous Stanford experiment in which an administrator left a child in a room with a marshmallow for 15 minutes. Before leaving, the experimenter told the child that she was welcome to eat it, but if she waited until he returned without eating it, she would get a second marshmallow. The children that were able to wait until the experimenter returned experienced better outcomes in life, including higher SAT scores, greater career success, and even lower body mass indexes. The point is that delay of gratification and patience are essential to success. People with mental strength know that results only materialize when you put in the time and forego instant gratification.

You have to make mistakes, look like an idiot, and try again — without even flinching. In a recent study at the College of William and Mary, researchers interviewed over 800 entrepreneurs and found that the most successful among them tend to have two critical things in common: they’re terrible at imagining failure and they tend not to care what other people think of them. In other words, the most successful entrepreneurs put no time or energy into stressing about their failures as they see failure as a small and necessary step in the process of reaching their goals.

You have to keep your emotions in check. Negative emotions challenge your mental strength every step of the way. While it’s impossible not to feel your emotions, it’s completely under your power to manage them effectively and to keep yourself in control of them. When you let your emotions overtake your ability to think clearly, it’s easy to lose your resolve. A bad mood can make you lash out or stray from your chosen direction just as easily as a good mood can make you overconfident and impulsive.

You have to make the calls you’re afraid to make. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do because we know they’re for the best in the long-run: fire someone, cold-call a stranger, pull an all-nighter to get the company server back up, or scrap a project and start over. It’s easy to let the looming challenge paralyze you, but the most successful people know that in these moments, the best thing they can do is to get started right away. Every moment spent dreading the task subtracts time and energy from actually getting it done. People that learn to habitually make the tough calls stand out like flamingos in a flock of seagulls.

You have to trust your gut. There’s a fine line between trusting your gut and being impulsive. Trusting your gut is a matter of looking at decisions from every possible angle, and when the facts don’t present a clear alternative, you believe in your ability to make the right decision; you go with what looks and feels right.

You have to lead when no one else follows. It’s easy to set a direction and to believe in yourself when you have support, but the true test of strength is how well you maintain your resolve when nobody else believes in what you’re doing. People with mental strength believe in themselves no matter what, and they stay the course until they win people over to their ways of thinking.

You have to focus on the details even when it makes your mind numb. Nothing tests your mental strength like mind-numbing details, especially when you’re tired. The more people with mental strength are challenged, the more they dig in and welcome that challenge, and numbers and details are no exception to this.

You have to be kind to people who are rude to you. When people treat you poorly, it’s tempting to stoop to their level and return the favor. People with mental strength don’t allow others to walk all over them, but that doesn’t mean they’re rude to them, either. Instead, they treat rude and cruel people with the same kindness they extend to everyone else, because they don’t allow another person’s negativity to bring them down.

You have to be accountable for your actions, no matter what. People are far more likely to remember how you dealt with a problem than they are to recall how you created it in the first place. By holding yourself accountable, even when making excuses is an option, you show that you care about results more than your image or ego.


Bringing it all together

Mental strength is as rare as it is important. The good news is that any of us can get stronger with a little extra focus and effort.

Courtesy: Travis Bradberry is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 


Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment

Kylie Jenner Will Unseat Mark Zuckerberg as the Youngest Self-Made Billionaire in History

Kylie Jenner Will Unseat Mark Zuckerberg as the Youngest Self-Made Billionaire in History

September 23, 2018 11:07 AM

By Adetoun Adeyemo


kyliejenner Wow. i can’t believe I’m posting my very own @forbes cover. thank you for this article and the recognition. I’m so blessed to do what i love everyday. i couldn’t have dreamt this up! #KylieCosmetics

Watch out, Mark Zuckerberg. Kylie Jenner is hot on your trail.

In her new Forbes cover story, it’s revealed that the social media star, beauty mogul, and new mom is on track to become the youngest self-made billionaire, male or female, in history. Zuckerberg, now estimated to be worth more than $70 billion, went from millionaire to billionaire at age 23 with Facebook’s IPO. Jenner will turn 21 in August.

According to the feature, the company Jenner founded less than three years ago, Kylie Cosmetics, of which she is the sole owner, has amassed more than $630 million in sales. Currently worth $900 million (transcending older sister Kim Kardashian West’s estimated $350 million), her fortune, which includes proceeds from her TV show, endorsement deals, and after-tax dividends, is on track to hit the billion-dollar mark within the next year. An incredible feat, considering it started with a $29 Lip Kit that sold out in less than a minute in 2015, she told Vogue.

Yet, despite her eye-watering wealth and commercial success, she hasn’t forgotten how far she’s come. “Wow,” wrote Jenner on Instagram. “I can’t believe I’m posting my very own Forbes cover. Thank you for this article and the recognition. I’m so blessed to do what I love every day. I couldn’t have dreamt this up!”

Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment

Emmys 2018 Red Carpet: The Best Looks

Emmys 2018 Red Carpet: The Best Looks

By Adetoun Adeyemo

SEPTEMBER 17, 2018 6:00 PM

TV’s biggest night has arrived, and stars like Issa Rae, Heidi Klum, and Kristen Bell are already out and winning on the red carpet. Ahead, the best dressed from the 2018 Emmys.


By John Shearer/Getty Images.

Tracee Ellis Ross

Wearing Valentino.



By Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

Sandra Oh

Wearing Ralph & Russo.


By Kevin Mazur/Getty Images.

Judith Light


By Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

Thandie Newton

Wearing Brandon Maxwell.


By Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

Leslie Jones

Wearing custom Christian Siriano.


By Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

Issa Rae

Wearing Vera Wang.


By Kevork Djansezian/NBC/Getty Images.

Sarah Paulson

Wearing Oscar de la Renta.


By Steve Granitz/WireImages.

Kristen Bell

Wearing Solace London.


By John Shearer/Getty Images.

Natalia Dyer


Kevin Mazur

Yara Shahidi

Wearing Gucci.


By Kevork Djansezian/NBC/Getty Images.

Heidi Klum

Wearing Zac Posen.


By Steve Granitz/WireImages.

Angela Sarafyan

Wearing Christian Siriano.


By Todd Williamson/NBC/Getty Images.

Jessica Biel

Wearing Ralph & Russo.

Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment

Full Bush Is the New Brazilian! How to Transition Like a Pro

Full Bush Is the New Brazilian! How to Transition Like a Pro

September 15, 2018 3:32 PM

Editor by, Adetoun Adeyemo.

As if it needs to be said, the full bush is back. But the au naturale look is far more than a fad or trend resurrected from the ’70s. For many women in 2018, body hair has inherent social implications that run the gamut from more newfound self-love to fighting the patriarchy.

While Lillian Tung and Laura Schubert, cofounders of the pubic hair and skin company Fur, firmly believe that how much or little hair a women chooses to keep down there—or anywhere else—is a personal decision, they do agree that online platforms such as Instagram are furthering the conversation around letting it grow out. “With the rise of social media as a ‘filterless’ platform, women are becoming more comfortable discussing [their] body hair,” they explain. And Bea Feliu-Espada, founder of feminine-care brand The Honey Pot, also sees a correlation with shifting beauty ideals. “I think the strong movement towards body acceptance and positivity that has been swelling up for the past few years includes embracing your pubic hair in its natural state,” says Feliu-Espada.

It’s a pivotal shift that New York City–based holistic ob-gyn Dr. Eden Fromberg, who has observed fuller hair down below in her patients over the past few years, believes is a long time coming. “Women are becoming increasingly aware that our bodies are a lot more than the visual or sexual playthings that past cultural norms implied,” she says. “We want to express our diversity and power, live our preferences, and feel comfortable in our own bodies without judgement.” And just as important to Fromberg as shattering stereotypes is getting the point across that pubic hair isn’t dirty or unhygienic. “Pubic hair exists to protect our delicate areas and encourages a diverse and often quite healthy microbiome, which keeps us in balance while preventing infection,” she continues.

And while forgoing regular waxing or shaving for the first time in a long time can be liberating, it can also be uncharted territory for many women. From minimal grooming to gentle cleansing, here the experts weigh in on how to maintain the natural look.


Invest in Trimmer Scissors

While a buzzer for your bikini line can be handy, Fromberg recommends cutting pubic hair with small trimming scissors (“Not a scissor that you use to cut paper or things in the kitchen!” she cautions), as well as sterilizing the blades beforehand with alcohol. For better results, use a magnifying mirror, and if the hair is long enough, a fine-tooth comb can help hold it in place as you trim. If you prefer to shave simply to neaten the area, do so with a natural shaving cream, like Dr. Bronner’s Organic Shaving Soap, and be sure to disinfect the blade with a toner infused with witch hazel afterwards.

Exfoliate to Treat and Prevent Ingrown Hairs

Ingrown hairs can be par for the course no matter how you wear your pubic hair. “When it comes to keeping ingrowns at bay, exfoliation in the shower works wonders,” say Tung and Schubert. Fur’s Ingrown Concentrate is infused with moisturizing coconut oil and antibacterial tea tree oil to help banish bumps; it comes with an exfoliating finger mitt to help lift dead skin and trapped oil in special spots. For extra care outside of the shower, you can also massage the area with Cap Beauty’s Bikini Dry Brush to boost circulation and speed up any needed healing.

Cleanse Gently—But Not Too Much

“When you grow out your pubic hair, a healthy cleansing regimen is important as you may have more issues with sweating and hair can trap odor and bacteria,” says Feliu-Espada. She advises using a gentle pH-balanced feminine wash free of artificial fragrance, parabens, and sulfates, such as The Honey Pot’s Feminine Wash Sensitive. “Avoid soaping up your vulva, labia, or inside your vagina, which can cause drying and irritation,” says Fromberg.

Nourish and Soften the Hair

“Cutting and shaving pubic hair will make the ends feel more scratchy and bristly in texture, so [one of] the benefits of leaving pubic hair long is that it feels soft,” says Fromberg. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make the texture even silkier. Fur Oil is a cult favorite among many women—including Emma Watson—with its quick-drying grape seed, anti-inflammatory clary sage seed, and strand-softening jojoba oils, as well as its light citrus scent.

Let the Area Breathe

Another benefit of pubic hair is that it protects the skin against irritation from uncomfortable fabrics. That said, airing it out is important too. “Avoid tight clothing and let your pubic area breathe after a long day or sweaty workouts,” says Fromberg. And to that end, stay away from moisture-retaining synthetic fabrics and opt for organic cotton underwear, such as Skin’s organic cotton boy short briefs. A few adjustments to your regimen aside, you’ll find: The more pubic hair, the less to worry about.

Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment

Cardi B and Nicki Minaj Get into Fight During Fashion Week

Cardi B and Nicki Minaj Get into Fight During Fashion Week

By: Mon., Sep,10, 2018 10:30am
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Harper’s Bazaar

Is this Nicki Minaj‘s response to her New York Fashion Week fight with Cardi B?

On Friday evening, the Queen rapper and the “Bodak Yellow” star were both in attendance at the Harper’s Bazaar Icon party at The Plaza Hotel in New York City. Towards the end of the night, Minaj and Cardi were captured on camera by E! News and fellow guests getting into a scuffle. An insider told E! News that Minaj was mingling with guests at the party when Cardi lunged at her and began shouting. Social media footage also appeared to show Cardi throwing her red heel at Minaj during the altercation.

“It was so fast!” an eyewitness shared with E! News. “I heard someone screaming—everyone recognized Cardi’s voice—people either got out of the way or took out their phones and started filming. Nicki was surrounded by a bunch of guards and barely even looked at her. Next thing you know, shoes were flying and Cardi was on her way out.”

The fight culminated in Cardi B throwing her red heel before security escorted her out.

Neither rappers have commented directly on the fight, but Cardi posted a screenshot of a Notes App referring to a long-standing squabble. It doesn’t mention Minaj by name, but suggests whomever it’s about made a comment about her newborn, Kulture Kiari.

Minaj, meanwhile, has only posted photos of herself, presented without comment.


Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment

Willow Smith is all grown and Gorgeous

By Editor, January 24th, 2018

Willow Smith is all grown and Gorgeous


Pinterest Images

The world was always going to know who Willow Smith was because her famous parents Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith left her no choice in that matter. But rather than ride on the coattails of her parents’ fame, Willow wanted to create her own path, even from as young as 10 years old when she released her first single, “Whip My Hair.”

She has continued to pursue her musical aspirations since then, but it’s not just her repertoire that has grown. Here are the ways Smith has transformed from a Hollywood child to a talented and beautiful young woman.

She hated growing up in the spotlight
Pinterest Images

Growing up with famous parents was not something Smith wanted, nor was it something that she found easy. She shared her thoughts on the topic in an interview with Girl Gaze (via People magazine).

“Growing up and trying to figure out your life… while people feel like they have some sort of entitlement to know what’s going on, is absolutely, excruciatingly terrible — and the only way to get over it, is to go into it,” she said.

She also feels as though this toxic environment can take its toll on mental health, saying, “I feel like most kids like me end up going down a spiral of depression, and the world is sitting there looking at them through their phones; laughing and making jokes and making memes at the crippling effect that this lifestyle has on the psyche.”

She feels the world needs to be more open-minded
Pinterest Images

The idea that girls should like pink and boys should like blue is outdated, and Smith chose to remind everyone of this in an interview with Refinery29. She said, “I’m a black female in the 21st century. My favorite color isn’t pink; it’s black.”

That’s not the only thing that she feels sets her apart from the norm, and her open-minded approach on this topic is refreshing. She said, “I’m not obsessed with getting married or having kids. Gender norms put people in boxes and don’t allow them to really get to their full potential as a human being. Slowly but surely, dudes are starting to wear nail polish and become more in tune with their feelings. Change is happening, and it’s very exciting.”

She’s empowering other young women
Getty Images

Whether she asked for it or not, Smith’s parents’ fame gave her a platform and she could either ignore it or embrace it. She chose to do the latter and has been using her voice and image as a powerful tool to inspire young women.

When Smith was 15, she was invited by French fashion house Chanel to be one of their ambassadors. It’s an important role and it’s one that Smith takes seriously because, even then, she understood that “It’s not every day that a 15-year-old black girl with dreads gets elected to be the Chanel ambassador.” She made these comments in an interview with The Telegraph and told the publication she realizes the importance of being a role model for those who are not represented by the media.

“I know a lot of girls that look like me feel that they’re not beautiful and feel like they don’t have a place in the media or a place in the world,” she said. “I want them to know that’s not true, and if you’re confident and you love yourself then everything you see, your perception, will start to change and you’ll see things differently. I want to show those girls that might not think they’re beautiful but they are.”

She sees human beings in a new way


I don’t know what your average 17-year-old is like in 2018, but I do know that there is nothing average about Smith because she has a unique approach to the world. She made this clear in an interview with The Fader.

“I’ve just been doing so much growing up, I’m really just becoming a woman. Damn. I’m really a woman,” she said. “Seeing how my thought processes have changed over the years and how my observations get keener. Everything is getting more clear but also I’m starting to see the spectrum of life in such a new way. It’s so grey and uncomfortable and joyous. It’s the first time I’m seeing life and experiencing relating to human beings in a completely different way.”

She has an interesting view on love and relationships

Smith thinks a lot about love and relationships and her approach to love is interesting as it’s based on the ability to give your partner complete and utter freedom.

She shared these views with The Fader, telling the publication that to attempt to define something is a mistake. She said, “You say you love this person but then you’re doing all of these things that inhibit their freedom because of your insecurities. That’s not only in romantic love, that’s in friendships and everything. I just realized that the actions that I was taking weren’t reflective of what I’m saying. I saw that in myself and others, and as much as we want to hold on to these people, love and relationships you have to enjoy and release.”

Smith went on to explain how holding on too tightly can harm relationships. She said, “Let things go where they need to go. Don’t hold on because when you hold on you kill love. As soon as you say, ‘This is mine,’ or ‘This is my boyfriend’ or ‘This is my girlfriend,’ you’ve massacred your real relationships.”

How can someone so young can be so wise beyond their years?!

She’s all about girl power
Getty Images

When Smith turned up for an interview with Teen Vogue she did so wearing a cropped t-shirt with the statement, “Never underestimate the power of a woman.” And truer words have never been written, at least in the opinion of Smith, who is passionate about women supporting each other.

What made her shoot for the publication special is that it was a first for Smith: the first time that she had been photographed by a female photographer. Upon meeting photographer Emma Summerton, the publication notes how Smith reacted with excitement and stated, “This is so cool. I’ve never been shot by a woman before — not for anything this major! There is such a need for more female photographers, physicists, astronauts, doctors….”

She’s faced difficulties being in Generation Z

Don’t confuse Smith for a Millennial, because she is from Generation Z. This is the generation who were born post-1995, and according to Huffington Post, they make up 25.9 percent of the United States population.

If you have ever wondered what it was like to be part of this generation, Smith has the answers, and according to her, it has its downsides.

She described herself and the other post-Millennials as being “anxious” in an interview with Girl Gaze (via Entertainment Tonight). Some may think this anxiety is linked to a technological obsession, but Smith notes that it’s not quite as simple as that. She said, “It’s not just the phones. The phones are just a tool. The phones just heighten what was already happening.”

She cares about others
Getty Images

Smith may have the privileges that most don’t, but that doesn’t mean she’s closed off to the hardships of the world. The singer and her family did their bit to help ease the suffering of others when they handed over items from their wardrobe to The RealReal, with all proceeds donated to the Caribbean Disaster Emergency Management Agency.

According to E! News, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, along with their children Jaden and Willow, had their clothing sold on The RealReal’s website — all these items now appear to have been sold. As for what was on sale? Smith’s contribution reportedly ranged from bomber jackets to sneakers, with pieces including her Adidas x Rita Ora Lightweight Hooded Jacket, and her Opening Ceremony Wool Varsity Jacket.

Music helped her to discover self-love
Getty Images

Smith’s last name ensured that she would never be a starving artist, but she has tried to remain true to herself with the direction she has taken her music. Her second album, The 1st, focuses on self-love and music has helped to give her clarity with regards to this idea.

Smith explained to Rolling Stone that if someone devotes hours to their art, they are left with a sense of accomplishment or competency upon its completion. For her, this competence results in confidence, and as Smith states, “It’s a cycle of tracking the progression of your competence and the growth of confidence. Each time the kinds of experiences are the same but the feelings are different. Like for each song you go through, ‘OK, I’m learning this. I’m learning this a bit more. Now, I get this.’ You start to become friends with the process.”

She doesn’t want to be in the public eye forever
Getty Images

We’ve already established that living in the public eye has its challenges, and Smith has revealed just how much she longs to escape it. She has big plans for her future and they don’t involve being famous.

Pharrell Williams chatted to Smith and her brother Jaden for Interview magazine in 2016, and when asked where they see themselves in ten years, Jaden responded with “gone,” a thought Willow echoed. She explained, “I feel that. I see myself in the mountains somewhere in a tent cooking a squirrel.”

After going back and forth with her brother about eating squirrel (because Jaden was shocked), Smith revealed that living away from the city life and becoming at home in nature is something her heart desires. She said, “I want to retreat back to living off the land and just being in nature, experiencing life in the most pure, natural way possible.”

She wants to hone in on her creativity in the future
Getty Images

Smith’s long-term goal may be to become self-sufficient and live away from civilization but there’s a more immediate ambition which she wants to achieve first: exploring her understanding of music.

“I want to rocket my knowledge and intelligence about specifically the science of music,” Smith told Rolling Stone in a 2017 interview. “The art of creating music is one thing, but the science of it is a completely different world that I want to become more comfortable with. I’m such a right-brained person that coming at me with logic rooted in creativity takes time for me to get comfortable with that and understand the logistics of my creativity.”

Courtesy, The List.



Please follow and like us:
Posted on Leave a comment


Adetoun Adeyemo and Adedoyin

Are moms supposed to look frumpy at the beach? Of course not! Get inspired by these women’s swimwear styles that are great for moms.

Just because you’ve entered into the “Mommy Zone” doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being stylish every day especially at the beach. There’s no rule that says you can only buy swimwear that makes you look frumpy. that is me and my Son looking Trendy on summer lol. There are swimsuits for after you have a baby and there are bathing suits for moms with somewhat older kids.

That being said, finding the balance between practicality and fashionable can be a challenge: you’re a woman first and foremost, so you want to maintain that individuality, but you still want to build a wardrobe that will get you through every day mommy life with confidence and ease. If you have a newborn or young toddlers, you especially want to keep it budget friendly: food, crafting + painting, and outdoor activities means lots of “wardrobe changes” so strive to find pieces that are chic, versatile, and affordable. The key to being a hot mama at the beach is finding swim pieces that are comfortable, that you feel confident in and that you’ll love to wear every time.

And now that Summer is officially here, family vacations, days by the pool and trips to the lake are on the near horizon, so you want to make sure you have a few suits that are cute, easy to move around in, and can serve double duty when needed. The last thing you want to worry about is how your suit fits!
One-Pieces: The Classic Swimsuit for Mothers

The go-to women’s swimwear for everyone (not just moms). A one-piece bathing suit with thicker straps is a great choice for the mom that needs a little more support up top. This style can be worn under sundresses and cover-ups, or even worn with a pair of shorts. If you have an active child, this swimwear style makes it so you don’t have to worry about straps moving or coming undone as you splash around with them in the water. There’s lots of one-piece swimsuits that look great on moms like you.

Kourtney Kardashian and Mson

Whether your goal is to show off that asset, keep it under wraps, or add a bit of volume, we’ve already done some searching for you, discovering options that’ll make you feel confident, sexy, and ready for fun in the sun

Harry Berry and Nahla

Check out our tips ahead and add the styles you love to your cart. Not worried about your booty but would like a tummy flattering look? Don’t worry, girl — we’ve got that, too.

Please follow and like us: